Update (11 months post TT)

Please forgive me for my absence.  I truly appreciate all those that sent me messages inquiring about my health and well-being.  It is funny how the anonymity of online correspondence can be quite comforting when dealing with an illness.  It is as if the closest people to you can't grasp the full gravity of what is happening to you because he or she sees you everyday and either can't or refuses to acknowledge your reality.  But, in an online environment, my words are my truths and I am accepted and cared for. I am forever grateful for the thoughts that were sent my way.

Now, for the update:

I had a horrible time during the initial months after surgery.  There were a number of things that I didn't expect to happen.  First,  I didn't expect the anger I felt about having an unnecessary surgery.  I realize that the doctors were doing what they thought was best, but there must be another way.  Second, all of the issues that come along with being Hypo hit me like a dump truck.  I started to gain weight, the depression sat on me constantly, my ability to have conversations and concentrate disappeared.  I thought I would begin to take steps forwards after surgery, but instead I found myself taking steps backwards.  I was once again, ill. I had to take the semester off from school, which really put me down in the dumps.  That was one of the things that I held onto that made me feel as though I was beating this thing.  I had to acknowledge that I was different and though being humbled builds incredible character, I just didn't want to be humbled yet again with limitations.  Another thing came about, which made me stop blogging.  I had become the thyroid girl.  I would bring it up in all my conversations.  I carried it with me wherever I went.  I was consumed with all things thyroid.  I was becoming an extremist.  Disclaimer:  I think we all should be extremist when it comes to our health, but in all things, there must be a balance.  I needed to take a break and find me again, so I did and the journey has been painful and refreshing. 

Enough of that, here is how I got better (not quite back to me, but close).  

1.  I got off of the Levothyroxine and switched to Synthroid.  I also added Cytomel. (Synthroid 100MCG, Cytomel 50MCG) - I really feel like I need to try an Armour or Naturethroid.  I'll keep you posted.

2.  I revamped my diet again.  I do still eat a paleo diet the majority of the time and will be starting a Whole 30 at the beginning of July.  I plan to blog about it. 

3.  I got to sleep.  There is no need for an explanation.  It is a process and it doesn't always happen, but I consciously make an effort to sleep at least 6 hours.  

5.  I have just added yoga and learning to listen to my body.  For years, I thought it was a bunch of nonsense, but I can't do what I use to do.  I live off of manufactured energy provided by the 2 pills I take every day.  I need to aid my body with meditation and breathing.  I need to be mindful in all that I surround myself around - I'm about to go on a tangent, but I am learning to listen and breathe, which is awesome for someone like myself.

That's it!  

Someone sent me a message asking me if I felt that the TT (total thyroidectomy) was the right choice and I couldn't answer the question in a straight manner, but now that I think about it I would have to say that it isn't and wasn't the best choice for me.  You see, I NEVER had bad labs, except for the Hashimoto's antibodies of course.  Yes, I had a nodule that was suspicious and they couldn't get a definite answer, but now, especially with the way the world is going, I often think about what happens when I can't get my medication.  I think about all that my body is missing.  Every cell in your body uses the thyroid hormone and I depend on synthetic medication to do something that it really can never do fully.  Of course, if one has cancer the answer is quite simple and that is to remove the thyroid, but in the numerous cases of individuals like myself we are constantly told that medication will make us whole again and that is simply not true.  

Bye for now.  Below is a picture of how my neck looks now. You can barely see the scar.

How this all began...

I come from 4 generations of women on my maternal side that have had a thyroid disorder.  I don't know why I never thought to educate myself on thyroid disorders because my genes are a clear sign that a diagnosis of Hypo or Hyperthyroidism was highly likely.  I simply never thought it would happen to me.  I simply thought of their issues as being minor and a direct correlation to their poor diet or high stress, but that changed early last year.

At the beginning of 2011, my husband looked at me and asked if my throat was swollen.  I never noticed and dismissed it as nothing.  I went in to have my annual OB/GYN appointment and the doctor asked if I had my thyroid checked. I told her no, but I had this nagging feeling that something was about to change in my life. She ordered the blood work and everything came back normal. I felt awesome. I wasn't tired or jumping off the walls.  I couldn't possibly have a thyroid condition. I was working out 3 days out of the week and running over 4 miles a day three days out of the week, sometimes running twice a day. I had just started taking 4 online classes at the local community college. I was an active stay at-home mom.  I was competing in races.  I was super-mommy.  Hell, I even have a cape to prove it.  Are you noticing something?

Two months later, I go in to see my regular doctor because I felt really ill. Guess what she says to me, "Mrs. H., have you had your thyroid checked?". Instantly, I tell her that I had and everything came back normal.  She then tells me that she feels a lump on my thyroid and orders more blood work along with an ultrasound. That's when I started to worry.  The ultrasound showed I had a large nodule on my thyroid along with several small nodules. My doctor then ordered a biopsy because that would put her at ease that something strange wasn't going on. The biopsy came back indeterminate. What exactly does that mean?

Three months after the biopsy I go to see an endocrinologist and he tells me that my T3 and T4 are normal but another part of my blood work, thyroid antibodies are high.  The nodule, indeterminate biopsy results, and blood work give me the diagnosis of Hashimoto's thyroiditis. HUH!?! I couldn't believe it. How did I get an autoimmune disease within the span of such a short amount of time. He put me on 50 MCG of Levothyroxine to see if the nodule would shrink and I felt fine until about 3 months after seeing him. I was no longer running because of an injury, but I was always tired all of sudden. I also gained about 10 pounds in what seem like a night. I then broke out in hives. It seemed like my body was on a roller coaster and when I asked my regular doctor she said this is what happens when you have a thyroid condition, but we will work together to figure out how to get you back to you. On the other hand, my endocrinologist said my numbers were normal, so I obviously must have something else wrong and so the journey has begun to getting back to me.