Sunday, August 18, 2013

All I wanted was a prescription

I was having a bit of trouble getting a refill on my T3 medication the last time I blogged.  Well, I got it filled that very next day at the doctor's office, but I had to lie.  My mother use to tell me that a lie only leads to another one or even worse.  As usual, the lessons of my mother somehow seem to always be right and my simple trip to the doctor ended up being so much more.

Technically, I didn't lie.  I woke up that morning thinking that they had to have same-day sick appointments and figured I would call and say that I was feeling "sick".  I didn't say sick.  I said that I felt fatigued, which is true.  I ALWAYS feel fatigued, so technically I didn't lie.  The doctor's office was able to get me in and I proceeded to go to the doctor with my 2 children in tow.  I knew it would be a disaster and since I've been doing this whole "being conscious" thing, their (my children's) behavior has started to become more amusing/understandable than embarrassing or upsetting.  I didn't care that they would more than likely be loud and attempting to touch everything.  My goal was to get my drugs.

I succeeded in getting my T3 refill and I also learned that the idiot I had seen previously was no longer working at the practice.  SCORE!  I failed at keeping the appointment focused solely on my medication, which led to me being pricked on the finger to check my blood levels, an appointment for an MRI on my back, a referral to the OB/GYN, a referral to see a therapist, and a suggestion to lose weight. WOW!  I didn't want all of that to happen.  I just wanted to get my script for the T3.

Truthfully, all of the things mentioned are quite necessary for me to have except that losing weight thing.  I never even considered that my back may have something to do with the pain I am constantly in.  The doctor asked me to walk on my heels and I couldn't do it without almost falling down, which she said may be back related as opposed to hip related. My blood levels should always be checked and thankfully everything was fine.  I am not anemic. I need to see the OB/GYN and the insurance company won't let me do it without a referral.  The therapist referral was recommended because she (the doctor) found it odd that I haven't been sleeping (which I kind of lied about), but I had been seeing one in North Carolina that helped me tremendously and it does not hurt to see another one.  Now, the whole weight thing I take issue with because I am not overweight.  She even said that I was not overweight, but mentioned that I could stand to lose 5-10 pounds to help out with the pressure on my hips.  I'm not worrying about that.  I'm not going to even consider it.  I will consider bringing SOME exercise back into my life because she reminded me that even though the orthopedic doctor recommended I stay off my legs, I should still try to exercise because not using my hips also leads to them not working effectively.  Unfortunately, she also reminded me that the likelihood that I will need a hip replacement by the age of 40 is still high.

My goal now is to stay as far away from the doctor's office as I can.  I can't go into the doctor's office without them finding something wrong and I simply don't have the time for all of that.  I go to see the Hematologist on Wednesday and I'm hoping that she found something wrong because I do not want to have the bone marrow biopsy.

My husband came home for all of 32 hours and that recharged me a bit, but I am so deep in love with this man that I am freakishly sad and happy at the same time.  In our 10 years together, I have never once cried in front of him when he needed to go away for the military.  Today, I cried and held on longer...tightly. When he packed, I sat down in front of his suitcase and hung on his every word. I watched him with our children.  I backed off a bit and let him be their father and he thoroughly enjoyed his children. I didn't busy myself or focus on him leaving.  I allowed myself to enjoy the moments while he was here and to feel the aloneness when he walked away. I know this isn't thyroid related, but it is amazing to be living in the moment.  It's like a sweet piece of fruit or seeing the most amazing wonder in nature for the first time.

I am thankful.

Breathe and Listen


  1. Where can I even begin with a response to this post. You are so amazing and I adore you.

    The openness and honesty with which you write is beautiful. It is something that I admire so much about you. I hope that someday I will feel as free. In the meantime, I will keep coming to you for inspiration, knowing that I will eventually get there.

    The quote of the summer: "My goal now is to stay as far away from the doctor's office as I can"

    And I am so glad you got your T3.

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