Thursday, September 6, 2012

6 weeks post Thyroidectomy

I feel horrible.  

When I initially came home after my surgery, I was in pain but I was full of hope.  I had this feeling of being extremely tired, but as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.  That feeling is gone. My old friend has returned...that weight, that feeling of walking through deep sand with a huge weight on my back has returned.  I'm hurt, but I am no longer upset about it.  I was mad when I noticed "the weight" returned.  I had this feeling of betrayal and being overwhelmed.  I have never gone into detail about exactly how I feel, but I'm compelled to do so this evening.  I don't know why I haven't done this before.  So here it goes....

I can't sleep most of the time and if I do it's not restful sleep, so I am Mommy, wife, and student in a zombie like state. I wake up in the morning, my heart pounds like its about to come out of my chest.  I don't get up quickly because I know from experience that I will faint, so I just wait.  My children come in and I slowly get up and I will myself to ignore the pounding.  By the time, I make it to the top of my stairs the pounding stops, but by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, I feel thirsty, dizzy, and weak. Over time, the thirst and dizziness goes away, but there are so many other things that hurt that I don't know for sure if it does go away. I get cross eyed while picking up my children's vitamins and find myself steadying myself most mornings to get it all together. I forget things often, even eating. I have to write down what I am going to make for my children for breakfast, lunch and dinner because mid-way into cooking, I forget what I was doing.  When I drive my daughter to school, I talk on the phone to keep myself centered.  My eyes don't drift and I feel secure that if something does happen, someone will know. I can't concentrate, so I spend hours doing homework.  My body aches to the point that I have to call my husband home somedays because my hips lock up and I can't walk. I fine myself sometimes talking to people and can't remember what they have said even though I am looking directly at them. I have somehow developed this Costochondritis (look it up), which hurts like you have no idea. I have also developed an extreme sensitivity to gluten or maybe even soy.  If I eat out, I break out in hives, no matter what. Today, was my first day without a hive break out.  I went for 4 days with hives on my face. There are other things too, like the weight, which I can only attribute to depression.  I use to be so active. I use to be so full of life and now I feel as if I'm mourning the old me at times.

I went to see my regular doctor (Endo doesn't want to see me until the 13th) and she told me that I needed to find a way to accept that this is my life now.  I wanted to slap her, but after thinking about it for a little while, I think she is right. I have to learn to accept it because being sad and angry will not do anything for me.  My daughter helped me to learn that in an innocent conversation a while back.  I, in my motherly wisdom told her that sadness and anger can kill a person and then I thought about myself. I have to let it go.  

In all honesty, most people would be tired in my shoes.  I am a stay at-home mother with 2 very active children.  I have a husband that I like very much ;) and I take 4 classes at the local community college.  Most people in my shoes would be tired, so I have come to realize that a lot of my fatigue is relative to my lifestyle; however, the other symptoms don't fall in the tired mom category.  If you read this, would anyone be so kind as to suggest what I should say to the Endo.  I'm at a loss.  I know it takes time to get medication right after surgery, but I can't go on like this much longer.  I'm barely holding on.  The bright side is that I got a neck lift out of all this.  I'm posting pictures, so they should be below. 





One more thing, I find it ironic that my appointment with the Veteran's Affairs Endocrinologist is at the end of the month.  This appointment was made back in April I believe.  I have no thyroid.  I am happy to cancel my appointment for someone else, but I still think its a damn shame what they are doing to veterans.  


  1. Hi love. I must say reading this made me feel a little sad. I am so sorry that this is going on. It seems as though people I know are going thru so much physically and it causes so much pain for my soul. I am not sure if my suggestions will work but I would love to give you my opinon.
    First you have one of the hardest jobs in the universe and that is raisng two active children. Its a lot. You're doing ur house work, going to school, dealing with this pain, etc...
    You need more rest my friend. I am not sure how you want to do it but u do. Maybe going from 4 clases to 2. You're health I more important at this time. You barely had surgey and u are doing so much. Rest is essential.
    I went to this short meeting one day at a chiroprators office and long story short...maybe ur spine needs an alignment. All of our nerves flow through the spine and some how without you knowing the nerve that connected to ur thyroid was pinched not allowing your brain to send messages to certain parts of your body. Its amazing how one thing connect to another. You'd be amazed.
    Meditation, plenty of fluids, little by little...slowly go for short walks. You have to be gentle with urself...u just removed an important body organ.
    Alternative medicine....find out who else has removed their thyroid and compare noted. Find a website where others out there can relate and get some tips. You are not alone there are people who truly understand.

    1. Meli Melz,

      I know that I need to cut down on classes, but I can't. I'm using the Post 9/11 GI Bill and one of the clauses is that once you start classes, if you decide to drop any of them, then you have to pay a quarter of your tuition. In all honesty, I don't have that type of money, so I'm trying to stick it out. Also, going to class is providing with a much needed break from my house. It may be hard to believe, but these children are more work than going to school. Thankfully, my husband (I almost put his name because I know you know him lol) picks everything up for me in the evening, so when I get home all I have to do is either sleep or homework. Next semester, I won't pack on so much. Thank you for your suggestions. I still think you're freaking awesome. Wish I had more people like you around me.

  2. Oh and ur scar is healing nicely :-)

    1. I think so too! If only he had done a tummy tuck too.

  3. Hi girl, sounds like you have adrenal issues just like me. Check out my post from September 3rd. All your symptoms sounds like that for sure and adrenals and thyroid are like yin and yang. Adrenal exhaustion can be mistaken for hypothyroid symptoms and many of us thyroid patients suffer from both from time to time. Check out Dr. Rinds metabolic scorecard to have a better understanding of where you might stand with your adrenals. See the link in my post. Also, I can empathize with the Costochondritis. I have similar issues that I talk about in the same post. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I'm sending you lots of love an support. Hoping you'll fell better soon.

    AutoImmune Girl

  4. Hello lovely lady~ Was thinking about you and hope that you are feeling wonderful 3 months post op. Sending a hug your way :)

    1. Thank you for thinking of me. School was very hard on me, but I got through it with a 4.0. I haven't been feeling well, but I believe the clouds will lift soon. How are you?

    2. WOW WOW WOW! I am so excited for you that you got a 4.0!!!! Very impressive. I am doing well, thanks for asking. Switched meds and getting rid of yucky heavy metal toxicity so feeling better. Hugs!

  5. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, would you mind emailing me when you get a chance?



  6. I don't mind emailing you. Email me your email address.

  7. I noticed you haven't updated your blog in quite sometime, I hope your doing well!

  8. I hope you are doing well. Your blog really hit home because I have all the symptoms you have without the additional home duties (no kids yet) but I took a break from school due to the tachycardia. I'm at the point where I am considering a thyroidectomy but only if it relieves the palpitations and at least some systems. It is rare that a man gets this disease for some reason but I have it and the periods of hyperthyroid are difficult to deal with. If you get this please follow up with your current functioning...would you recommend thyroidectomy or an alternative give your experience? I hope everything is going well and you are strong to deal with this so well and maintain a perfect academic record. Thanks Charles