Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Step 3: Surgery

The thyroid cloud has rolled in and has settled on my brain.  It feels like I'm swimming in cloudy, gray water desperately trying to find my way to the top to get some fresh air and escape.  I find it amusing...right now.  I guess this is what happens after having ones thyroid removed less than a week ago.

The surgery was a success.  I no longer have a thyroid, but thankfully, I still feel like me.

We (my husband and I) arrived at the hospital at 5:30 a.m.  I was in surgery by 7 a.m. and out by 10:30 a.m. The drugs they gave me before taking me up to the operating room were AWESOME!  I don't remember much from the time the lady put them in, though I know I was conscious during that time.  Heaven only knows what I said.  My last memory was of my husband walking away from me and telling the nurse that he didn't like to say goodbye because it seemed like we weren't going to see each other again.  I remembered thinking that he should have told me that because I thought he was just being an insensitive ass. A few seconds later, he returned and kissed me on the forehead and said he loved me and again walked away.  That's all I remember.  The next conscious thought I have is of waking up in recovery.

Recovery, to me, was a glimpse into hell.  There are people moaning and you can't see them, but you can hear them.  You really don't know what's going on because you're high, so it's kind of real but not. The lady next to me kept screaming, "it's burning, make it stop, MAKE IT STOP".  I was beginning to think I had really messed up, but then I fell back asleep and awoke more aware of my surroundings.  The lady was still screaming, but I was fully aware of where I was and what was going on. The doctor came and told me that they took the thyroid out and pathology should come back in 5 days.  I gave him a high five.  Yes, I gave him a high five.  I was high, what do you expect?

They took me to my room and that's when the pain and my bladder hit me. I was very, very sore and I had to pee like my life depended on it.  The soreness is intensified because it's in such an awkward place.  I tried to lift my head and boy, did it hurt.  The nurse told me to relax, but all I could think of was making it to the toilet. She (the nurse) reminded me of my grandmother, which alarmed me. I told her I need to go and it took about 2 minutes to unhook all of the devices so I could actually make it.  Thankfully, I made it, but my whole body wasn't in compliance to being upright and I barfed.  It hurt so bad and it continued to happen on and off for the rest of the day.

The rest of my stay in the hospital was uneventful.  The nurse, like my grandmother, just didn't seem comfortable leaving me alone to just sleep.  She would come in and remind me to get up and walk, use the breathing machine, and not get depressed.  Who does that? My calcium dipped to a very low level and almost delayed my release, but it came back up and it was expected considering the surgery happened so close to the parathyroid gland.  I came home the day after surgery and felt fine.  I had no brain fog.  I was just sore.  Today, is day 4 post surgery and I definitely feel like those early thyroid days.

We got the pathology report back and it's not Cancer.  The funny thing is that when I heard the doctor say it, I was angry.  I know it's stupid, but I never wanted to have this surgery. I felt like I had taken my thyroid out for no reason.  I felt stupid. I had a pity party for all of 20 minutes. My husband had to remind me that most people don't cry when they hear they don't have cancer.  That put things into perspective.

I went to the Endo yesterday after hearing the results and got my levels checked and he upped my dosage to 75 mcg of Synthroid.  I'm no longer on Levothyroxine.  He told me that it (Levothyroxine) was not good for me after a thyroidectomy and from this point on I should be on Synthroid.  That made me feel good because a friend told me that earlier. He also said that my dosage would slowly be increased because it was dangerous to shoot me up without monitoring my blood.  Funny thing is that my insurance won't pay for Synthroid, so we have to pay $30 a month for me to be sane.  I'm not complaining because I know others pay more for things they need, but I think it's completely nonsense.

That's it.  Now the journey to wellness continues.  Also, if any of you have seen my appetite, please tell it to come back.  I'm withering away over here and I hate forcing myself to eat.


  1. Isn't general anesthesia just the best damn sleep ever? LOL I'm so happy that it's not cancer and you don't have to deal with that whole aspect of it. I do feel a little guilty for nudging you in the direction of a total instead of partial since it turned out not to be cancer. :/ BUT in the long run I think you're much better off without it! Give it some time for those antibodies to clear out and bye bye Hashis!

    Glad that your Dr got you brand name and $30 really isn't bad. And I feel you on the appetite!! I had that issue for a while after surgery. Hang in there, it'll come back. Sort I have my issues here and there but it's still way better than right after surgery.

    I hope you continue to feel better every day and you know I'm here for anything you need :)

  2. How is it that you just managed to crack me up with a story about surgery? And perhaps a little tearing up as well. I am so happy to hear that you are OK and hooray for no cancer! Let the journey to wellness begin :) I am looking forward to reading all about it and cheering for you all the way.

    What have you been eating? When my appetite hits the road and I need nourishment, I go for high-calorie protein shakes/smoothies. Btw, have you checked into what a 90-day supply of Synthroid would cost? May be lower per month to do it that way.

    1. I haven't been eating and that's a problem. In the morning I may have one boiled egg with avocado. I don't even miss lunch and I don't snack. Dinner may include half of a sweet potato and avocado or I may make a salad of zucchini, tomato, cucumber, and avocado with a little olive oil and vinegar. That's it! As you can see, I love avocado, but I'm not a vegetarian like you, but I don't even want to eat anything else. It feels too heavy from just looking at it. It's weird.

      Do you have any good recipes for shakes? Also, I plan to fight for my Synthroid to be paid. I read somewhere that they can't do that to me and I plan to fight it.

    2. I'm sorry eating has been tough. That is the worst feeling when you are trying to heal. At least you want avocado since it is so healthy and does have calories. Sounds like some protein would be good for you in a shake - do you have a protein powder that you like? You could make a shake with protein powder and a variety of other goodies that you feel like eating. Banana would be great since it would give you energy and plenty of nutrition. You could put an avocado in your shake if you wanted it creamy. Blueberries, apple, cucumber, spinach, coconut, nuts and seeds would all be great too. Hang in there, mama. Every day is a day closer to feeling good again.

  3. Wishing you all the best in your recovery and a speedy return of your appetite. You're a brave lady.