Monday, June 11, 2012

Have I become a stalker?

I spent most of my day today reading a blog.  I can't even imagine myself sitting still to read a very long book about someones life, let alone a blog, but I have spent the majority of my day reading and I feel better for it.

I came across this wonderful man's story because he was kind enough to follow my blog.  I was excited to see a 3rd follower and his name Hypo Man, let me know that he wasn't on my blog for the food tips, but was a fellow sufferer. I was expecting a blog of medical jargon, symptoms, and post of self-acceptance.  What I actually found was humor, honesty, and enlightenment.

His honesty touched me in ways that I can't express and I am forever thankful because I am not very honest most times about how I feel.  I don't often think that others care. I feel like they get tired of hearing me complain about how bad I feel.  When I am sick, I crawl into my cave (my home) and shut everyone out.  But, why?  Why am I unable to share my feelings?  Why do I sometimes resent those who have read my blog.  I started this blog to share and hopefully help someone who is suffering like me, but instead I have sugar-coated things and edited myself because I don't want to be seen as weak.

Maybe it's the Soldier in me that doesn't want to show weakness.  Maybe it's the hurt little girl inside of me that I am protecting.  Maybe fully accepting that this part of my life sucks is too hard to handle.  Whatever it is, I'm stopping it right now.  I will no longer hide how I feel and I will write for myself and others like me.

I am a married women, but I am in love with Hypo Man.  I am officially his number one fan.  I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs. No, I sincerely hope that he is listened to one of these days he goes in to see his doctors. He's suffered too long.  Does it make me a stalker if I care so much about him and I've never met him and have only seen him through one video?  I tell all of my friends that not many stars make my scream list.  (The scream list is for people I would actually scream for if I ever met them) My list consists of Beyonce(don't ask), Oprah, Nelson Mandela, and now Hypo Man.

My sincerest thanks to this man.

Also, why do any of us have to suffer.  Why is that so many of us have received inferior care? I firmly believe I have had thyroid issues since I was 9 years old.  The signs were there, but no one bother to do the testing and I just learned to live with symptoms until I got this lump on my thyroid.  When lumps/nodules start to pop up, that usually a sign that your body has been fighting for a while.  Why, if I am the 5th generation in my family to have a thyroid disease, didn't any doctor test my thyroid levels? Shouldn't that be standard procedure if I tell the doctor that my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great grandmother (I just found this out) have had either Graves or Hypothyroid disease.  It's ridiculous!  If it sounds like crap to you too, then please visit the Patients with Thyroid Dysfunction Demand Better Care facebook page and sign  the petition, PLEASE!




2 comments:

  1. *blushes*

    I am having trouble finding the words to express how wonderful your post has made me feel... thank you, THANK YOU.
    Also, my total respect to you for reading my whole blog in a day! Have you recovered from the ordeal yet? *winks*
    I hid a little behind the anonymity of my blog to start with, but the longer I go on my old real world friends from 10+ years ago still show no sign of being interested in my battle for wellness. But I have discovered a group of people online with a shared empathy and I am trying to embrace it.
    Making it onto your "scream list" is so touching... I'll give you a heads up... the long hair has gone and I finally got 'round to getting glasses... so more like Clark Kent now!
    I look forward to following your journey as you are so graciously following mine...
    ...my very best wishes to you and your family, Robert.

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  2. Thank you, Andrea for writing this. I loved reading your perspective and I, too, enjoy Robert's banter and wittiness :-) I am also new to this journey and I can feel change in the wind.

    Those who came before us have pave the way to this moment. The moment where each of us can do something small by signing and sharing this petition, and together, we can create large-scale change. The Butterfly Effect... ironic isn't it? Thank you for your part in our journey <3

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