Thursday, March 15, 2012

Yesterday was HARD

The girl I sit next to in my College Algebra class is an idiot.  Yes, I said it.  She is a complete idiot and I am going to tell you why.

I had a rough day Tuesday.  I just couldn't seem to get it together.  I had to be in a completely different part of the city 30 minutes after I dropped my daughter off at school for a cortisone shot in my hip. It wasn't going to happen.  I ended up calling a friend to sit with her in the school parking lot until it was time to drop off.  Thankfully, she was more than willing to help, but because I was so off I totally ended up wasting her time and was late getting to the school.  I suck at this friend thing right now.  I was late to everything, but the kicker is that I got my shot, picked up my daughter, cooked dinner, didn't eat it, and then rushed in my car to make it to my 6 p.m. class for school and realized that I hadn't eaten since breakfast.  I mean I hadn't even had a snack.  That is the wrong answer for my body or anyone with thyroid issues.  You've got to eat! I knew I would be late to class if I stopped and when you're gluten free, you simply can't stop at the local drive-thur.  I drove on over to Earthfare to pick up some gluten free snacks and a beet juice and actually made it to school on time.  Here is where the girl I sit next to in my class comes in.

She's a nice girl, but she is an idiot.  I don't tend to judge people and I've withheld my comments to her about drinking more than one soda in a three hour period while being pregnant. I've ignored her comments about how she's taking her size 0 jeans to the hospital with expectation that she will be wearing them home.  I have even been so kind to ignore that she has yet to find a place to live with her boyfriend and child even through the due date is approaching.  I've ignored these things, but I have offered her help by giving her my pack and play along with some clothes.  It's the right thing to do, but she made me mad the other night.  This girl, takes one look at my beet juice and says, "WHAT'S THAT!".  I calmly explain to her what the ingredients are and she points to her McDonald's Strawberry and Banana smoothie and says, "Strawberry Banana smoothie, this is just as healthy but I bet it doesn't taste like THAT".  I simply looked at her, but I'm thinking in my head that she has no idea what's in that "smoothie" because I've never seen a real strawberry or banana in McDonald's before.  Oh, and I know that's not all she got from McDonald's. I'm pretty sure there was a burger to go with that, maybe some fries, or possibly some chicken nuggets. You see, I'm not downing her for what she eats.  Before, this happened to me and even when I was pregnant with my first child I made trips to fast food joints too, but I knew that it was bad food I was eating and I knew to never make a comparison of my food to someone else's choice. Since when did it become okay to put down healthy food? Since when did it become the norm for individuals to stick their noses up at natural drinks and why am I considered a food snob or abnormal if I say I don't eat fast food, chips, or soda?

It gets worse though. I started to feel bad in class that evening and of course the girl attributed it to my beet juice.  I gave her the "look" because I was over it and I was trying to get in my head from preventing a full on anxiety attack.  My chest was getting tight and my heart was beating fast.  I could feel myself getting hot and I just wanted to get out of there.  My hormone levels must have been all off from not eating and it was catching up to me.  I hadn't eaten in a total of 9 hours and hadn't got the food in my body in time to save myself a crash.  I'm proud of myself for staying in class though and not going off on my classmate.  I'm extremely proud that I stayed after class to go over material I didn't get and was the last person to leave.  I'm learning that a lot of times I have to push through this condition and not let it control my life. The next day was terrible and I was on the couch most of the day.  I had to cancel a study group and actually dragged my family out of the house at 7 p.m. to do groceries because that's when I began to feel better.  It sucks that my normal is different now, but I have a whole lot to be thankful for.  My husband is helpful and my kids are understanding when I say mommy is having a bad day.  My sister is always there to hear me out, I can be vulnerable with her and not feeling like a total cry baby. I have a friend that makes me laugh until I cry no matter how I'm feeling. I have a whole host of mommy friends who are pulling for me and that makes me feel good.  I know some people go through this alone and I am thankful that I don't.  I am even thankful for the idiot I sit next to in class because I know she genuinely isn't trying to be an idiot she just doesn't know any better.  Maybe I should tell her about my blog!?!

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